Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Revised Logline, Synopsis & Second Draft

While I'm still a bit unsure of the way to write these documents here they are.

Logline -

Josh, an 8 year old boy isolates himself from his Mum and his 3 year old brother Aden. When Josh one day adopts a wounded Cicada tensions erupt, leading to resolution on when Josh learns the true value of family.

Synopsis -

Josh is an 8 year old boy who isolates himself from his family and turns to his fascination with Cicadas for fulfillment. Joshes life changes when he rescues a wounded Cicada from a bird and decides to adopt it. Aden, Joshes 3 year old brother who refuses to talk, becomes hostile towards the Cicada when he sees that it is coming between him and his brother. Meanwhile Aden's refusal to talk puts increasing strain on the family. When these tensions climax their Mother takes the Cicada away from both of them. The next day while Josh is at school Aden takes the Cicada from his Mums room. Unsure of what to do he takes it outside. As Josh arrives home from school the Cicada is snatched up by a bird. Josh climbs the tree to save the Cicada but when his brother slips at the top of the ladder he has no choice but to save him. Stuck in the tree their Mother comes out and begins shouting at Josh. Upon seeing Joshes face Aden begins to talk, defending his brother and startling his Mum.

While these still need work they really start to put the story into perspective, and allow us to see the bigger picture. One thing I particularly found interesting was how all the exposition in the script is immediately revealed. The plot becomes very clear and this with really help on my next pass of the script.

Script -

The second draft of the script can be found at this link. It contains quite a few revisions and should hopefully read a little tighter.

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